Be Good

That's what E.T. told Elliot.

I talked to my pastor this past weekend and mentioned how sick and tired I was of trying to be good. He responded, "Don't strive to be good- strive to love." I'm pretty sure that's the best advice I've heard this year: it's one of those simple, true comments that work their way into your head and heart.
It got me thinking about the difference between the two, and here's what I came up with.

Striving to be good vs. striving to love -

Striving to be good is when I'm following this moral and ethical gridwork I have mapped out in my head, developed from years of observing people, making judgment calls, reading the Bible, listening to sermons, and talking with Christians. So when I'm trying to be good I'm checking to make sure I'm going according to all these lines and angles I've got worked out in my head of what a Christian is supposed to be like, and I'm trying to be successful and right by staying within the lines, and putting my energy into it, and things are supposed to work when I do that. But when stuff doesn't go the way I think it's supposed to when I follow the gridwork, I end up angry and frustrated and exhausted. Also, this whole framework is about me, how I can look good to myself and others and God, checking my cliff notes of the Christian life to pass the test, to manipulate God by obeying what I've got written down as his rules so he has to respond a certain way, to shape people the way I think they should be by acting in certain ways around them and toward them.

When I'm striving to love someone, however, the focus is totally different. I'm looking out at them instead of consulting my inner gridwork and painting by number. I'm looking out at them, seeing them for who they are, and acting for their deepest good because they are a creation of God or one of His children. It feels totally different, it requires an active and living connection with the living God yet requires less energy and work, and it probably blesses the people around me a lot more.

Thoughts?