sweet Sally

I googled "loving well" and stumbled across one of those gems of a blog that you would never have found if you were actually looking for it. Today's post is an excerpt from Sally's blog.
I deeply want to be like this when I have a family.

"On Saturday, we were getting ready for Easter lunch in which we had about a dozen people coming for lunch. Joy had peeled hard-boiled eggs to make deviled eggs. She then got a bright idea of how to make it easier, even though I had suggested the easiest way to fill the eggs. The result was a mess everywhere–I have never seen so much egg yellow on the hands of any one individual! How in the world had she managed to make such a mess? This at the end of a long afternoon of cooking and counseling another teen! She could sense how irritated I was with her! The Lord then gave me eyes to see this hormonal, young woman-my sweet little girl in the throes of growing up. She had “hurt” eyes as she watched me clean up her mess! Then I sat her down, and after having a couple of minutes to think about what I was going to say, I told her how much I appreciate all the ways she had been available to help me in setting the table and going shopping and putting up with the several hours of work we had all done. I told her that I didn’t always get my cooking right and how frustrated I often felt when I had put a lot of time into something like making bread or trying a new recipe, when it failed or tasted terrible. I told her I loved her said, “I am sorry if I offended you in any way. You are such a treasure to me and I know you were trying to do a good job. Thanks so much for all the ways you have helped me this week.”
The result was that a few minutes later, she climbed into my lap, all long, gangly almost teenage legs and all and said, “I am so thankful that you always love me, mommy.” a kiss on the cheek and she was gone."

opposite sides of sunrise

My friend and co-worker informed me today via Yahoo! Messenger (a very dangerous internet "tool" for work) that one of his upcoming tattoos would say "Suicidal Sunrises" - a reference to how he and his bros in his motorcycle group lived, loved, and worked like there would be no tomorrow. I commented that my blog title, Laughter At Dawn, was pretty much the opposite of that. Though both images revolve around the first morning sun, I felt like the first phrase was an ending grounded in passionate extinction, and my blog title was a beginning grounded in newborn hope (perhaps in spite of all reason). Not that I'm better or anything :0) Absolve me - I'm just writing a blog here.

It got me thinking. He explained that all that passionate exhaustion of self was done in service to each other, their families, and their callings. The dreamy, idealistic part of me really likes the thought of pouring oneself out at that level. The rational, pragmatic streak says calmly that since actually you probably have a while beyond sunrise to live, you'll probably best serve everyone by pacing yourself at a sustainable level and planning for the future.

And then there is the internal anxiety I've put on myself in times past (like 2 weekends ago) by thinking I only have a limited amount of time to process huge amounts of information about life and living and come up with airtight answers to the complexity and messiness Right Now. I don't like that pressure at all. It's bad and unhealthy, both spiritually and physically. For me, I think I'll take the long view of sunrises, and laugh for love of the beauty each one brings to light.

love makes room

People make room for the things they love - like photography, or a spouse, or children or work or alcohol or books or sports or sleep or God.

And when a person loves, they make room. Love steps backward and invites you forward. It makes space and lets you freely move toward it. It draws near, and makes room, and invites, in hope that you will choose to draw near.