Have you ever noticed that sometimes a whole bunch of churches and people you know are suddenly talking about the same theme, for no apparent external reason? It makes me sit up and take notice of what's going on around me on the spiritual plane.
Case in point:
- I subscribe to a couple different church podcasts. Andy Stanley Ministries in Georgia is doing a series on Decisions
- Tim Keller at Redeemer in NYC is doing a series on Decision Making
- One member of my small group is reading Andy Stanley's book on how decisions determine destination
- Another member of my small group just posted about how it seems every decision he is making right now is a consequential one that has the potential to affect his whole life
- my own church's topic last week was how the "slow fade" into sin or away from church or into a mess or what have you is just the final result of a series of one building-block decision at a time.
- finally, Covenant Life Church in Maryland, which I don't get the podcasts for but which some of my regularly-viewed bloggers attend, is also doing a series in which a key point is "You are only as wise as your next decision. You prove your wisdom in what you choose today."
Hmmm.
It's got me thinking about whether the decisions I'm making connect with where I want to be heading in all the various areas of life. I've never been one to freak out about whether my decisions are in the parameters of a small teetery knife-edge sliver of "right choices" that some people seem to think is God's will - decision-making is something he gave us to do, and I think as far as options for directions we can go, it's very broad.
But how good is it to realize direction - not intention - determines destination! It's not that we are not smart enough to understand, but that there is a huge disconnect. We understand that truth as far as picking which highway to take when we go somewhere in our car, but there's often a disconnect between where we want to end up and what decisions (path) we're making in our lives. It's a lot easier to see in other people, like with my acquaintance who just wants to settle down, have kids, and bake cookies but is choosing to date lots of men who lack the character qualities that would give her the future she genuinely desires.
Now to think and pray about where I hope to end up in light of what I have seen God doing with my life, and am I actually on paths that are gonna get me there...
07 July 2009
01 July 2009
In the Tumble Cycle: Fathers and Mentors
One of my favorite movies is Moonstruck, and the main character's mother, who knows her husband is seeing another woman, spends most of the movie periodically polling people with the question, "Why would a man need more than one woman?" She shakes off answer after answer until she hears the one she's looking for.
Rose: [frustrated] But why would a man need more than one woman?
Johnny: I don't know. Maybe because he fears death.
Rose: That's it! That's the reason!
Johnny: I don't know...
Rose: No! That's it! Thank you! Thank you for answering my question!
Last night some of us watched Rebel Without A Cause and discussed it afterward, and it got the question of fatherlessness tumbling restlessly around in my mind. Three characters in that movie all have different father wounds from ineffective or absent fathers. And like Rose in Moonstruck, I've been polling people with my question, looking for the answer that feels like it fits.
My question is, What can we, as individuals and as the church, do to heal the men who in one way or another grew up without being fathered? Brandon thinks they're generally doomed, as we learn much more from absorbing than being taught, and such men will always be missing a huge piece of manhood, especially when it comes to leading a marriage, simply from lacking the model. Jennifer thinks it's a huge opportunity for the people of the church, those well-fathered men further along the road, to see the need and step up to be that stable, experienced person speaking into a young husband's life, or a teenager's life, over a long span of time. I think the Holy Spirit can give you the power to draw the line in the sand and break with your past, but it is hard and takes a lot of work and determination and drawing on God the Father to teach you what you don't even know you don't know.
What do you think?
Rose: [frustrated] But why would a man need more than one woman?
Johnny: I don't know. Maybe because he fears death.
Rose: That's it! That's the reason!
Johnny: I don't know...
Rose: No! That's it! Thank you! Thank you for answering my question!
Last night some of us watched Rebel Without A Cause and discussed it afterward, and it got the question of fatherlessness tumbling restlessly around in my mind. Three characters in that movie all have different father wounds from ineffective or absent fathers. And like Rose in Moonstruck, I've been polling people with my question, looking for the answer that feels like it fits.
My question is, What can we, as individuals and as the church, do to heal the men who in one way or another grew up without being fathered? Brandon thinks they're generally doomed, as we learn much more from absorbing than being taught, and such men will always be missing a huge piece of manhood, especially when it comes to leading a marriage, simply from lacking the model. Jennifer thinks it's a huge opportunity for the people of the church, those well-fathered men further along the road, to see the need and step up to be that stable, experienced person speaking into a young husband's life, or a teenager's life, over a long span of time. I think the Holy Spirit can give you the power to draw the line in the sand and break with your past, but it is hard and takes a lot of work and determination and drawing on God the Father to teach you what you don't even know you don't know.
What do you think?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
