One of my favorite movies is Moonstruck, and the main character's mother, who knows her husband is seeing another woman, spends most of the movie periodically polling people with the question, "Why would a man need more than one woman?" She shakes off answer after answer until she hears the one she's looking for.
Rose: [frustrated] But why would a man need more than one woman?
Johnny: I don't know. Maybe because he fears death.
Rose: That's it! That's the reason!
Johnny: I don't know...
Rose: No! That's it! Thank you! Thank you for answering my question!
Last night some of us watched Rebel Without A Cause and discussed it afterward, and it got the question of fatherlessness tumbling restlessly around in my mind. Three characters in that movie all have different father wounds from ineffective or absent fathers. And like Rose in Moonstruck, I've been polling people with my question, looking for the answer that feels like it fits.
My question is, What can we, as individuals and as the church, do to heal the men who in one way or another grew up without being fathered? Brandon thinks they're generally doomed, as we learn much more from absorbing than being taught, and such men will always be missing a huge piece of manhood, especially when it comes to leading a marriage, simply from lacking the model. Jennifer thinks it's a huge opportunity for the people of the church, those well-fathered men further along the road, to see the need and step up to be that stable, experienced person speaking into a young husband's life, or a teenager's life, over a long span of time. I think the Holy Spirit can give you the power to draw the line in the sand and break with your past, but it is hard and takes a lot of work and determination and drawing on God the Father to teach you what you don't even know you don't know.
What do you think?
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