Ripening Anticipation

It was miserably hot again this past weekend, and I sat on my floor drinking an icy club soda with lime while listening to Sufjan Stevens’ Christmas albums, featuring such classics as “Did I Make You Cry On Christmas? (Well, You Deserved It!)”, “Sister Winter”, and “Come On! Let’s Boogey To The Elf Dance!”.

Today the weather was worthy of fall, being properly cool and overcast at last. Time for Christmas music again - I listened to Over The Rhine’s Christmas album, Snow Angels, dreamily lost in the blue jazz and Karin’s vocals. I began to think about the Christmas season, about seasons of feasting and fasting and the anticipation we feel in having to wait or look forward to something, and the deep sweet taste of fulfillment.

I think that sometimes when we have been waiting and waiting for something, when it’s at long last ripe, if bitterness has not overtaken you from the inside, you bite into it with such relish and release that the taste is sweeter by far than if you had been able to have it the minute you wanted it. Moreover, that period of looking forward to whatever the delight may be not only enlarges, but is a major part of, the experience of fulfillment. The Christmas season when we anticipate celebrating Christ’s incarnation is amazing in large part because of that anticipation and preparation. For a more mundane but no less happy example, I’ve just started a savings account for a trip to Greece next year with a dear friend and every two weeks when I put in a few more dollars I get to imagine how lovely that trip will be. I am becoming an advocate of the power and sweetness of anticipation, which is pretty wonderful considering that patience is not my strongest suit. I find I like this part of growing up! Change can be hard, the dry seasons are not fun, but I am just starting to see the pleasure that comes in alongside the pain of waiting.