the Harry Met Sally question

Yes, that perennial favorite - can men and women really be just friends?

If we're talking about a close, fairly intimate friendship, I think we gotta say yes, but, not really. And by that I mean, no matter how clear y'all articulate that you are Just Friends, in the real-life examples I know, one or the other person whether they admit it or not has some sort of romantic feelings and is hoping for more in the relationship. Truth? Truth. Sigh.

I've generally been the one who wants more from a close relationship with a guy and he wasn't as interested. Lately it's the other way around. I'm finding that maybe I need to take the responsibility that comes with that upper hand of power in the relationship (not being interested when the other person is) and maybe to continue in some no-man's land of "good friends," is arguably to take selfish advantage. Maybe that's not so respectful of a good man. Yes, the other person is an adult who is free and responsible to walk away if he is aware his hopes don't have much chance, but like it or not, it tends not to work that way. I'm still musing on this. Hope springs eternal, whether it should or not.

Speaking of which, I really, really liked the last guy. He liked me. We still like each other. But we just didn't have a similar vision about life. And so we're trying to be Just Friends by keeping quality time limited enough to keep either of us from resurrecting that hope. Harry, you were right.